CowChows Mouser

Get the CowChows Mouser today!
Get the CowChows Mouser today!

I’m sure you’ve heard it before, “Build a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door.” Well, we have a better mousetrap here at the CowChows. To be fair, we didn’t actually build it; God took care of that part for us. We’re not exactly sure what it looks like because we haven’t actually seen it. But, this little baby is hands-down the ultimate solution in hands-free rodent control in your garage or outbuilding. It could probably be used in the home as well, but since we don’t actually know what it is I’m not ready to recommend it. But, just listen to a few of the excellent benefits of this outstanding system:

  • Green: the CowChows Mouser is manufactured entirely by nature. There is no carbon footprint. In fact, as far as we can tell, there is no footprint at all.
  • No bait: our mousetrap uses no bait. No messy peanut butter; no stinky cheese; no nasty glue. You don’t even have to set it. It works completely autonomously.
  • No disposal: the CowChows Mouser is completely hands-free. It seeks out, captures, and disposes of the mice automatically.
  • Invisible: no unsightly traps or boxes of poison lining the walls of your garage or shop. In fact, you won’t even know it’s there except that there are no more mice, and occasionally something might fall from a shelf for no apparent reason.
  • Silent: The CowChows Mouser is completely silent. Although, things falling from shelves may make some noise and the very quick mouse could conceivably eke out a squeak.
  • Intelligent design: with an ordinary mousetrap the mouse that gets away won’t come near a trap again, but the CowChows Mouser is designed to adjust its strategy to the situation. Your mice won’t have a chance.

But wait! There’s more! If you order within the next sixty seconds we’ll throw in the CowChows Mouser Weight Loss system. This professionally produced video is perfect if you are uncomfortable having unidentified carnivorous creatures slithering around your home in the dead of night. Don’t wait! Call now and we’ll double your order! That’s right, two CowChows Mousers for only $19.99!

Due to the unidentified aspect of this product the ship date is undetermined, but as soon as we figure out what it is and it reproduces we’ll send your order.

Nonsensically yours,

Tim Couch