What was I thinking?

Don’t you just hate it when you’ve been doing something a certain way almost your whole life, and then find out you’ve been doing it all wrong? Me too!

But I have to say, now that my eyes have been opened and I’m seeing the logic of doing things differently I wonder how I never saw it before. When I think of all those years, decades even, that I spent carefully and cautiously doing everything I could to spend less money than I made. When I think of all the time I wasted balancing checkbooks and tracking expenses and worrying about repaying my debts. It just makes me want to whack myself on the back of the head. All that stuff is so unnecessary. Why did I put myself through all that?

Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t blame myself, of course. I blame my parents and my high school math teacher. How dare my parents instill in me a sense of responsibility? Who needs that? And this sense of fairness, what am I supposed to do with that? And this “Golden Rule” thing? That’s got no place in my new reality. And then there’s my math teacher who taught me to budget my expenses within my income. He even tried to teach us that it was important to balance our accounts, every month. Can you imagine? For thirty-five years I’ve been doing all this stuff and then, just this morning, it hit me. I’m doing it all wrong. There is such an easier way. So, here’s the deal.

First, I’m going to need you to send me a couple of bucks. And then, because I know times are tough I’m going to send you back a quarter. Then, I’m going to take most of what’s left and spend it on stuff that I think you would like. Unfortunately, this will require a lot of effort on my part and there will be expenses but I don’t want you to worry about that. If I need more money I’ll just borrow it from someone else and we’ll worry about it later. And of course, I want this to be fair for everyone so if you have more money than your neighbor then I’ll need you to give him a couple of bucks so he can send in his fair share, too. We certainly don’t want anyone to feel shortchanged.

For your convenience we can set up a direct annual withdrawal from your bank account. How about April 15? And for simplicity sake you might want to make that an account that will be a part of your estate. Thanks in advance and have a nice day.

Facetiously yours,

Tim Couch

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